Tuesday, September 2, 2014

A long time ago.....

A long time ago I was a little girl at Rosecrest Elelmentary. I had made a new friend and decided to go to her house after school. Of course it didn't even cross my mind to tell my mom, I was just so excited to have this new friend. As we were walking to her house it started raining really hard. We got to the house, but the door was locked and we were stuck outside for a long time. I started to feel really uneasy and realized that my mom was probably really worried. Eventually this girl's mom came home and I was finally able to call home and tell my mom where I was. I remember the car ride home and my mom being pretty upset (obviously), but what always stuck out the most to me was when I walked into the house I saw my sister, Morgan, sitting at the kitchen table bawling her eyes out. I remember wondering if she had gotten in trouble or if she was sick and for years I always thought about that and for some reason couldn't seem to forget it. I'm not sure when I pieced it all together and finally realized that the reason she was crying was because of me....because she loved me so much and was worried and scared that something had happened to me. Even though she was so young, her love for me was just like a mother's love and was well beyond her years.This is how my entire life has been with my Morgie. She has ALWAYS been there for me and has always taken such good care of me. 

There are some people out there who just stick out and are special. Who leave such an incredible impression on everyone they meet and if they were standing in a room full of a hundred people your eye would be drawn to them. This is definitely the case with my sister. Strangers open up to her and everyone around her wants be her friend. I can't go anywhere without someone asking me how she is doing. Even at my ten year high school reunion, over half the people I talked to mentioned her or asked about her and how she is doing. This is partly why I wanted to write this post. 

Morgan has a super power that is a gift, but also a curse.....(she is going to hate me for writing this! Gah!).....she has the ability to fake it--come rain or come shine she can fake it! It used to drive me crazy (probably because I was jealous-since I obviously wear all my emotions on my sleeve), but no matter what she is going thru she will have a big smile on her face and say that she is great and that everything is fine. She does NOT like attention to be on her. I have never known anyone personally who has been thru more stress, heartache, trauma, sickness, trials, hardships, and fear then her. No one. So for the many of you that want to know "how is she really?" I want to share a bit of her story with you :)

After I had Jane I got really sick and my incision from my C-section got infected. For a while though they couldn't find/treat the infection and so for three months I thought I was crazy because they couldn't figure out what was wrong. Three months I went thru this......three months. Sounds like a long time to be sick doesn't it? Well, now try to picture having horrifying symptoms--numb limbs, migraines, blacking out, constant vertigo, nauseau, episodes where your heart beats three times as fast as it should that last anywhere from a minute to hours at a time, MS symptoms, panic attacks, feeling like you can't breath and passing out-- for TEN YEARS and for every doctor that you go to tell you you look fine and healthy......TEN YEARS! That's just a tiny glimpse of what has been going on (I'll leave out all the emotional trauma of having a newborn baby flatline, having that same son diagnosed with cancer at just three years old, or watching her other son fall out of a window over twenty feet high). 

Thankfully last November she FINALLY received answers and many prayers were also answered. After receiving a blessing from Aaron she felt like she should go see an endodontist. At this point she had been to almost every kind of doctor out there, but she did not ignore this feeling and went right away. What they found was horrifying and straight out of a sci-fi movie. Basically she had a cyst the size of a silver dollar that had been brewing and growing for over ten years in the root of one of her front teeth. They figured the tooth had died from an injury she sustained over ten years ago while performing in a show at Hale because there was no decay whatsoever. (She was standing on a guy's shoulders and was dropped and fell face first into the ground) 
This cyst had eaten away all of her bone and had attached itself like a spiders web to all existing tissue. They had to physically cut this thing out to remove it and it left a gaping hole in her face. The endodontist said he had never seen or heard of anything like this. Now I worked at a dentist office for a while and I saw lots of infections/infected teeth. Some were so bad that we had to send patients to the hospital to get IV antibiotics and that was an infection that had been around for a year or so. I can't even fathom what would have happened to her if she hadn't felt inspired to go see that endodontist. I honestly can't go there. Her cardiologist didn't think her heart would have survived another month the way it was overworking. She told me that every night she went to sleep she was honestly scared she wouldn't wake up :( No one should live in fear like that. Words can't express how grateful I am for priesthood blessings and for Aaron for being worthy to give her one :) 

At this time she was seeing a heart doctor and had all these monitors on her 24/7 and once she got the cyst removed everything started to go away and almost immediately she felt better! They had never seen anything like it! It was nothing short of a miracle!!! Words can't describe how painful and agonizing it was talking to her day after day... hearing how much she was suffering and how scared and in pain she was. By far the darkest time of my life. Suddenly I was the young girl crying at the kitchen table....completely sick with worry and totally helpless. I'm sure most of you reading this are thinking, "I had no idea! She always seemed so happy to me!" I can't believe how brave and strong my sister is. What an incredible example she is to me and my family. Even when I come to her with stupid and petty problems, she has complete empathy and listens and gives me such wonderful advice. Aside from my mom, I've never known anyone as intune with the spirit and so full of light and love. 

Now she is an amazing writer and is moving forward with life and trying to catch up on all that she missed/couldn't be a part of these past ten years. I wish I could put into words how sweet and loving her heart is. I don't want to even begin to imagine what kind of person I would be without her. She keeps me centered and hopeful. My mom and her sister, Audrey, are so close and talk every day and we have always looked up to them SO much in every way. I'm soooooo grateful that we are just as close and can be just like them :) 

Love you Morgs!!!